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Video: Ruinous Empathy Leads to Obnoxious Aggression

We recently shared a video of Russ telling a story about Ruinous Empathy. He talked about a time when he withheld his direct challenge in order to be “nice,” but the story doesn’t end there. In this next video, he tells us how his feedback turned from Ruinous Empathy to Obnoxious Aggression.

As you watch, you may recall similar situations when you behaved a certain way because you were angry, tired, busy, etc. Remember that the quadrants in our 2×2 are not labels for people, they describe behaviors. Just because you behave with Obnoxious Aggression to a situation does not mean you are a jerk — and if you know Russ, you know he isn’t either. We all spend time in each of the quadrants.

Of course we’d all love to avoid behaving with Obnoxious Aggression, but it’s hard. If you find yourself feeling low on the Care Personally axis, think about our HIP approach to feedback before acting. When you remember that the best, most Radically Candid feedback is given humbly and in person, for example, you’ll be less likely to resort to tactics that come across as Obnoxiously Aggressive.
Russ’s story isn’t over yet! Check back for the continuation of the story.