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How to Avoid Kicking Up

You may have heard the phrase “kissing up and kicking down,” which refers to the tendency of some people to try to please and flatter their bosses while taking out frustrations on the people who report to them. While this is a common behavior, I’ve found myself more likely to do the opposite. Here’s a reader question I received about this: In the book, Kim talks about an instance where she "kicked up" with Larry Page. I'd like to think…

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What to Do When a Peer’s Feedback Annoys You

We recently received a listener question about peer feedback, and it’s one that I come across often in conversations with readers. Russ and I talked about why peer feedback is so important in episode 23 of the podcast. Here, I’ll give some additional advice about how to approach peer feedback. ...this has to do with a part-time job in retail. I am 56 and have a coworker who is 22 or so. She has been there 3 years and I…

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Civil discourse: try some with your beer this 4th of July!

Civil discourse and Radical Candor in our country have been dealt a heavy blow by an innocent sounding phrase: “politics divides.” These two words have silenced millions of small conversations that should have happened, and resulted in a political food fight very few of us are enjoying. The phrase "politics divides" has silenced us at work, and even around our own dinner tables. It's caused us to turn our minds off, and to leave those hard issues to others. That phrase, “politics divides,” may…

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Give Praise That Isn’t Patronizing

Praise usually seems much easier than criticism, but a lot of people actually hesitate to give praise. They worry about coming across as patronizing, pandering, or just insincere. We think that praise is even more important than criticism, so we want to help people learn to give it the right way. https://twitter.com/candor/status/870311268208521216 Here’s a question we got from one of our podcast listeners: I am a new manager of two administrative employees. Their day-to-day tasks are important to my team.…

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How to Turn Feedback into Something You Can Act On

Hopefully you’re out there asking for and getting feedback regularly. That’s great! Now, if you’re getting a lot of feedback, we can pretty much guarantee that it won’t all be high quality, actionable stuff. We’ve said before, “Don’t criticize the criticism,” and we’ve talked about what to do if you disagree with the feedback. But what about feedback that you’re not sure what it means, or how to act on? What do you do with that? We recently got this…

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What If You Need to Interrupt?

In episode 12 of the Radical Candor podcast, Kim and Russ talked about how to give feedback to someone who frequently interrupts in meetings. Then a few weeks ago, we also shared advice for how to stop your own habit of interrupting. There’s one more question we’ve been getting about this topic...What if you need to interrupt someone? How do you go about gently telling a person that's speaking for way too long in a meeting, that his time's up?…

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Are You An Interrupter?

We talked about one of the most frustrating meeting habits in episode 12 of our podcast -- interrupting! Kim and I gave some tips about how to handle being interrupted in meetings, and Kim explained some of the reasons that cause people to interrupt. Several listeners wrote in to commiserate about being interrupters and asked for our advice on how to stop. I just listened to Episode 12 of the podcast, and it really struck a chord. I have been…

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Human Resources

What It Means to Care Personally About Your Team

Most of us have experienced a bad boss, and unfortunately, those experiences can create lasting effects. Here’s a story and question we got from a listener after she listened to the first episode of the Radical Candor podcast -- it describes a common challenge that bosses have with balancing authority and Caring Personally and with building relationships with their direct reports. Hi Kim and Russ, Just listened to the first episode and wanted to share several of my previous "horrible…

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So You’re Younger Than Your Direct Reports…

We frequently talk to managers who find it challenging to have direct reports who are older or more experienced than they are. We’re taught from a young age to “respect our elders,” which actually means to defer to them. With this kind of conditioning, it can feel awkward to be in a position of authority over these folks. Here’s a question one of our podcast listeners sent in along these lines: I’m a young startup CEO, and both my Director…

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Candor’s “Give Feedback” Playbook

We’ve been so excited about all the engagement we’ve gotten from our podcast listeners. We are getting great, thoughtful questions after each episode, and we know they’re questions that others have as well! So we’ll be sharing some of the advice we’re giving to individual listeners here on the blog. Here’s a question from Kathryn: My question relates to how one can challenge directly regarding inflexibility. I have a staff member that really struggles with his daily responsibilities I think…

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