Tips to Avoid Obnoxiously Aggressive Praise
If you think you've given praise that was Obnoxiously Aggressive, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor!
If you think you've given praise that was Manipulatively Insincere, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor!
The more vague your praise is the less genuine it feels. If somebody has rated your praise as Manipulatively Insincere, you’re not showing you care or challenging them directly enough. Try saying “I like the way you ___” It’s hard to be non-specific after that opening. And when you’re precise about something you admire and why, your sincerity will shine through. If you try to sound sincere without the specifics, you’re likely to sound fake.
Your praise is helpful because you’ve explained exactly what’s good and why; also, your sincerity shows through naturally.
Offering praise that you don’t really mean will backfire. Try being more aware of the discrepancy between what you are saying and what you are thinking, and figuring out a productive way to say what you are really thinking.
Offer praise right away and only when something has genuinely impressed you; don’t save it up and then use it just to soften the blow of criticism.
If so, offer more specific details about what was good and why it matters, and your sincerity will show through naturally.
Any discrepancies will come back to bite you!
Telling somebody “you are a genius,” is problematic for the same reason saying “you are a moron” is: it personalizes. Besides, people see through it.
If you think you've given praise that was Obnoxiously Aggressive, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor!
If you think you've given praise that was Ruinously Empathetic, check out these tips for moving toward Radical Candor!
The purpose of praise is to help people know what to do more of. Check out these tips for offering Radical Candor: