Tips to Avoid Manipulatively Insincere Praise
If you think you've given praise that was Manipulatively Insincere, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor!
If you think you've given praise that was Obnoxiously Aggressive, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor!
Focus on the good stuff — but if you don’t mean it, don’t say it! If somebody has rated your praise as Obnoxiously Aggressive, you’re not showing that you really do Care Personally. When you see something you genuinely like, just say it!
You’re not “babying people’s egos” when you praise them, you’re helping them and everyone else know what’s good, why, and how to do more of it.
Just focus on the good stuff. When you see work you admire, speak up with the same energy you’d have when you see work that’s not good enough. When you admire other people’s work, they see that you know you don’t have all the answers.
When you see something great, the key is to point it out right away. It’s more clear that you are genuinely impressed when you say something right away. Look for moments in the day when something impresses you, and give those moments a voice. The 30 seconds you invest will help people look forward to what you have to say.
If so, you’re not giving enough praise.
Praise in big meetings, in front of your boss, in front of the whole team. Follow up in email and reply-all! Write notes. They don’t always have to come from you. Make sure your boss knows about your team’s accomplishments, and notes them. Don’t dismiss recognition as babying egos; you’re doing it to help everyone learn. And the more you praise, the more open people are to your criticism.
Starting any sentence with phrases like, “I know you are a genius, but…” is not likely to be effective.
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If you think you've given praise that was Manipulatively Insincere, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor!
If you think you've given praise that was Ruinously Empathetic, check out these tips for moving toward Radical Candor!
The purpose of praise is to help people know what to do more of. Check out these tips for offering Radical Candor: