Here’s a question that I get pretty often: “How can I be more humble?” The first time a person in a class I was teaching asked about how to give humble feedback, I sat there with my mouth hanging open. It was all I could do not to break into the song from the 70s show HeeHaw. “Oh lord, it’s hard to be humble, when you’re perfect in every way!” How can you answer a question like that? I didn’t…
We’ve been so excited about all the engagement we’ve gotten from our podcast listeners. We are getting great, thoughtful questions after each episode, and we know they’re questions that others have as well! So we’ll be sharing some of the advice we’re giving to individual listeners here on the blog. Here’s a question from Kathryn: My question relates to how one can challenge directly regarding inflexibility. I have a staff member that really struggles with his daily responsibilities I think…
Radically Candid criticism is humble. When you Challenge Directly, you don't have to be right. And when you are open to learning that what you think is dead wrong, you show that not only are you willing to Challenge Directly, you are willing to BE challenged directly. This builds trust. Be happy to be proven wrong. What you care about is helping others do the best work of their careers, and getting to the best answer. Watch this video for more thoughts…
If you think you've given criticism that was Obnoxiously Aggressive, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor! Criticize kindly This doesn’t mean sugar coating. It means seeing your criticism as an act of kindness, meant to help the person improve. If others have rated your criticism as Obnoxiously Aggressive, you’re not showing that you Care Personally. Try to pause for just a moment and imagine the face of somebody you really care about. Bring the kindness you’d show…
If you think you've given criticism that was Manipulatively Insincere, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor! Criticize kindly and clearly Just say what you really think. It’s not mean if it’s clear enough. If others have rated your criticism as Manipulatively Insincere, you’re not showing you care or challenging them directly enough. It’s hard to break free from the “if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all” advice that was pounded into…
If you think you've given criticism that was Ruinously Empathetic, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor! Criticize clearly Don’t try to spare people’s feelings by leaving out the details — that is not nice, it’s just unclear. If others have rated your criticism as Ruinously Empathetic, you’re not Challenging Directly enough. Try clearly explaining what you think directly to them. Just say it! When you don’t say it, you rob the person of a chance to fix…
Giving criticism is hard! Check out these tips for offering Radical Candor: Radically Candid criticism is kind and clear Easy to say, hard to do. Being kind means caring about what’s best for the person long term, not just what feels easiest right now. Being clear means leaving no room for interpretation about what you really think — while also being open to the possibility that your opinion is wrong. Be helpful When you are really clear about what’s wrong and…
If you think you've given praise that was Manipulatively Insincere, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor! Praise specifically and sincerely The more vague your praise is the less genuine it feels. If somebody has rated your praise as Manipulatively Insincere, you’re not showing you care or challenging them directly enough. Try saying “I like the way you ___” It’s hard to be non-specific after that opening. And when you’re precise about something you admire and why, your sincerity…
If you think you've given praise that was Ruinously Empathetic, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor! Praise Specifically Just saying “good job” is not helpful, and saying, “you are great” can actually be counterproductive. If somebody has rated your praise as Ruinously Empathetic, you’re not challenging them enough. Try being specific enough to show how to build on the success. Your job is not to be a cheerleader It’s to offer praise that shows exactly what was great…
If you think you've given praise that was Obnoxiously Aggressive, check out these tips for moving towards Radical Candor! Praise Sincerely Focus on the good stuff — but if you don’t mean it, don’t say it! If somebody has rated your praise as Obnoxiously Aggressive, you’re not showing that you really do Care Personally. When you see something you genuinely like, just say it! Praise helps people turn great work into insanely great work You’re not “babying people’s egos” when you…