Podcast

Managerial Musings With Kim Scott & Dick Costolo 5 | 26

Name: Managerial Musings With Kim Scott & Dick Costolo 5 | 26
Uploaded: 2023-11-22T08:01:38Z
Description: Managerial Musings With Kim Scott & Dick Costolo 5 | 26

Brandi Neal · Nov 22, 2023

On this episode of the Radical Candor podcast, management expert and former Twitter CEO Dick Costolo joins Kim for Managerial Musings. Kim and Dick answer listener questions, read between the lines and offer advice for your trickiest workplace problems.

Listen to the episode:

Radical Candor Podcast Episode At a Glance: Managerial Musings

Radical Candor Podcast

Dear Managerial Musings,

I’m in a bit of a predicament at work that I’d love to get your advice on.

Background

I am a senior manager at a large company. For the past year and a half or so, I have been working with my manager on getting promoted. She told me that I was doing well, and at one point said she was “sitting on her hands” waiting to promote me, once she had the money in her budget.

Then, my manager left the company, and a promotion was made available. Given the conversations I’d had with my manager, I figured that I would be the obvious choice. Instead, I was passed over for someone else.

I began working with my new manager to understand opportunities for advancement and shared that I had been working with my old boss on getting promoted to a director-level position. This was news to her, so she said she would talk to her boss in order to see what was possible.

This resulted in me meeting 1-1 with my boss’s boss.

Dialogue

Her: I did not know that you were up for a promotion, so that wasn't even on my radar when I was planning these changes.

Me: That's disappointing, and I'm not sure what happened. That said, I understand that what's done is done, and I'm more interested in what I can do moving forward.

Her: Honestly, even if I had known, I still think I would have made the same decision. I've been hearing that you've been saying things like "This company owes me" and that your "trust is broken."

Me, internally: Wut. I did not say that.

Me, out loud: I'm not sure where that's coming from, because that's not how I feel.

Her: Well, leaders in this company must be all on the same page and are supportive of the changes that are being made. I know that you and I don't work very closely together, and we're not in a lot of the same meetings, but when we have been in meetings together, I've seen you be very positive and collaborative. So I haven't seen it, but the rest of the organization must see that side of you. I think you're a very valuable employee, and I'd be devastated if you left.

For personal reasons, finding another job is not an option for at least another year. So, I'm very curious to hear your thoughts and advice on this. Is there anything I can do to make this situation better?

Thank you again!

About Dick Costolo:

Time magazine named Dick Costolo — former Twitter CEO — one of the 10 Most Influential U.S. Tech CEOs. In his speeches, Dick Costolo calls on his experience as a digital entrepreneur, business executive, and surprisingly, his experience as an improvisational comedian to deliver entertaining, insightful speeches with a powerful message about the future of social media and the Internet. He is a digital entrepreneur who has launched a series of highly successful ventures like the advisory and investment firm called 01 Advisor.
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Episodes are written and produced by Brandi Neal with script editing by Amy Sandler. The show features Radical Candor co-founders Kim Scott and Jason Rosoff and is hosted by Amy Sandler. Nick Carissimi is our audio engineer.

The Radical Candor Podcast theme music was composed by Cliff Goldmacher. Order his book: The Reason For The Rhymes: Mastering the Seven Essential Skills of Innovation by Learning to Write Songs.

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FAQs

What should I do if I was passed over for a promotion I was promised?

First, resist the urge to assume bad faith. Your old manager's promise may not have been documented or communicated up the chain, so your new leadership genuinely may not have known. Kim and Dick's advice: have a direct, forward-looking conversation with your new manager. Acknowledge what happened, but focus on what you need to do to earn the promotion next cycle. Dwelling on what you were owed is the fastest way to confirm any negative perceptions that already exist about you.

How should I respond if my boss tells me I've said things I never actually said?

Stay calm and don't get defensive. Calmly and clearly deny the specific claim — as the listener did — then try to understand where the feedback originated. Ask your manager directly: 'Can you help me understand who shared that concern?' You need to know the source so you can address the perception, whether or not the quote is accurate. Ignoring it or over-explaining will only reinforce the narrative. Your goal is to demonstrate, through consistent behavior over time, that the characterization doesn't match who you actually are.

How do I rebuild trust with leadership after rumors or negative perceptions have spread about me?

You can't fix a reputation problem with a single conversation — you fix it with consistent behavior over time. Identify the specific leaders who may hold the negative perception and find opportunities to work closely with them. Be visibly collaborative and supportive of organizational decisions in meetings where those leaders are present. Ask for feedback regularly so you can track whether perceptions are shifting. Transparency and reliability are your best tools here.

Is it a red flag if a boss's boss says 'I'd be devastated if you left' but still won't promote you?

It can be, but don't read it as purely manipulative. It may signal that leadership genuinely values your contributions at your current level but hasn't yet seen enough evidence to justify a director-level promotion — especially if there are doubts about your leadership alignment. The Radical Candor approach: take the statement at face value for now, but use it as leverage. Ask directly: 'What specific things would I need to demonstrate over the next six months to earn that promotion?'

How do I stay motivated and strategic when I'm stuck at a job for personal reasons and can't leave?

Reframe the constraint. If leaving isn't an option for a year, treat that year as a deliberate investment period rather than a sentence. Set a clear internal goal — like earning a promotion or building relationships with two key senior leaders — and work the plan. Use the time to document your wins, strengthen cross-functional relationships, and gather concrete feedback. This keeps you in a growth mindset rather than a resentment spiral, which is exactly the perception you're already trying to counter.

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