What’s In It for Me? The Peer-to-Peer Feedback Dilemma 2 | 15

The Question

Our first question on this episode of the Radical Candor podcast comes from a listener who manages a restaurant. “I work at a well-established restaurant in San Francisco. I manage a team of about 20 people. Being in the restaurant industry, I feel like there is a lack of commitment to the company for the employees. There are also a few different BIG personalities that sometimes clash. I am struggling with making my team care more and figuring out how to navigate through the challenges of getting a team to communicate and work together in such a high-stress and fast-paced environment.”

The Radical Candor Checklist

1. Make sure employees understand the goals of the organization and what the establishment values. Once everyone has a clear understanding of the shared goals and values, communicate clearly about how the team plans to work together to meet those challenges.
2. Let people know why their work is important and show them what success looks like.
3. Celebrate success and recognize people when they meet goals. You can take some inspiration from this company that created a fun employee-recognition program.

The Question

Our second question season 2, episode 15 of the Radical Candor podcast comes from someone experiencing a moral dilemma. “I am in a situation with a colleague who is severely underperforming and has been for at least a year. He has recently begun to lie about his work to others while in a group setting. Other people believe him, while I know he is blatantly lying. Is this something you would still consider being radically candid about? We are peers who report to the same manager.”

The Radical Candor Checklist

1. Remember, most people don’t lie because it’s fun. Often, folks lie in an attempt to cover up a mistake. If you plan to approach a peer you know is lying, go into the conversation envisioning a positive outcome for you and for them.
2. Radically Candid feedback is helpful. Be clear about how you intend to help your colleague.
3. Don’t go into the conversation if you’re feeling emotional. Make sure you are able to manage your emotions so you can approach the conversation from a place of curiosity versus blame.
4. Remember this quote from the late Clay Christensen.

Many of us have convinced ourselves that we are able to break our own personal rules ‘just this once.’ In our minds, we can justify these small choices. None of those things, when they first happen, feels like a life-changing decision. The marginal costs are almost always low. But each of those decisions can roll up into a much bigger picture, turning you into the kind of person you never wanted to be.

If you give in to ‘just this once,’ based on a marginal-cost analysis, you’ll regret where you end up. That’s the lesson I learned: it’s easier to hold to your principles 100 percent of the time than it is to hold to them 98% of the time. The boundary—your personal moral line—is powerful because you don’t cross it; if you have justified doing it once, there’s nothing to stop you doing it again.

Decide what you stand for. And then stand for it all the time.” ― Clayton M. Christensen, How Will You Measure Your Life?