Manipulative Insincerity, Talking ABOUT People Instead of TO Them 2 | 14
Manipulative Insincerity is what happens when you neither Care Personally nor Challenge Directly. It’s praise that is non-specific and insincere or...
3 min read
Brandi Neal Feb 28, 2024 12:01:15 AM
Table of Contents
Sixty percent of employers will reportedly send employees to “office etiquette” training in 2024. Whether it’s folks returning to the office after years of working remotely, or recent college grads without office experience — apparently people don’t know how to act around one another anymore. The team discusses the impact of decreased human interactions and the need to establish office behavior norms. Kim, Brandi and Jason also emphasize the importance of open communication and creating explicit norms, especially in hybrid and remote work environments. And if you work in person, don't touch other people's keyboards or drop Dorito crumbs onto their desks.
Listen to the episode:
@champagnecruze Welcome to virtual office etiquette class! —Which one should I do next? #generations #corporate #workhumor #relateable ♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys - Kevin MacLeod & Kevin The Monkey
*Our robot makes some mistakes—listen to the episode for a 100% accurate account of Kim and Amy's conversation.
The conversation explores the challenges of workplace etiquette and respect in the modern world. It discusses the impact of decreased interactions and the need to establish norms for behavior in the office. The importance of open communication and creating explicit norms is emphasized, especially in hybrid and remote work environments.
The conversation also touches on the significance of respecting boundaries and cleanliness in the workplace. Overall, the key takeaway is the need to have conversations and make the implicit explicit to foster a respectful and productive work environment.
The conversation explores the importance of connecting through conversation and the role of technology in facilitating or hindering communication. It also delves into the distinction between bottom-up norm-setting and top-down rulemaking, highlighting the potential biases and inefficiencies of the latter.
The concept of inefficiency as a path to efficiency is discussed, emphasizing the value of having conversations to foster understanding and long-term effectiveness. The conversation concludes with practical tips for implementing radical candor and a checklist for resolving conflicts about workplace norms.
00:00 Introduction
00:44 Lack of Etiquette in the Workplace
02:08 Decreased Interactions in the Modern World
03:04 Respect as the Key
05:08 Challenges of Returning to the Office
08:07 Navigating Social Interactions
09:02 Respecting Boundaries in an Open Office
10:27 Creating Norms for Office Spaces
11:26 Accommodating Different Work Styles
12:10 The Importance of Norms over Rules
13:58 Having Conversations to Establish Norms
14:54 The Challenge of Remote Work
16:39 Respecting Cleanliness in the Workplace
19:30 Setting Norms for Hybrid Teams
20:55 Managing Time Zones and Communication
23:45 Creating Explicit Norms for Remote Work
27:10 Encouraging Open Communication
32:21 Addressing Time Zone Challenges
35:21 Recreating Social Interactions in Remote Work
37:42 Making the Implicit Explicit
39:18 The Goal of Radical Candor: Connecting Through Conversation
40:21 Bottoms Up Norm Setting vs Top Down Rulemaking
41:21 Inefficiency as a Path to Efficiency
43:31 Radical Candor Checklist

@chelseahandler This is why everyone wants to continue working remotely. Please forgive my outfit.
Have questions about Radical Candor? Let's talk >>
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The Radical Candor Podcast is based on the book Radical Candor: Be A Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott.Episodes are written and produced by Brandi Neal with script editing by Amy Sandler. The show features Radical Candor co-founders Kim Scott and Jason Rosoff and is hosted by Amy Sandler. Nick Carissimi is our audio engineer.
The Radical Candor Podcast theme music was composed by Cliff Goldmacher. Order his book: The Reason For The Rhymes: Mastering the Seven Essential Skills of Innovation by Learning to Write Songs.
According to the episode, 60% of employers plan to send employees to office etiquette training in 2024. The main drivers are years of remote work that reduced in-person social practice, and a wave of recent college grads who entered the workforce without traditional office experience. Decreased human interaction over time means many people simply haven't had the chance to develop — or maintain — the unspoken social skills that offices require. The result is a workplace where basic norms around cleanliness, communication, and respect feel unclear to a lot of people.
The Radical Candor team draws a clear distinction: top-down rulemaking is imposed by leadership and can carry hidden biases and create resentment, while bottoms-up norm-setting involves the team collaboratively agreeing on how they want to work together. Norms feel owned rather than mandated, which makes people far more likely to follow them. The key is having open conversations where everyone has a voice — especially important in hybrid and remote environments where different work styles and time zones add complexity.
The podcast recommends leaning on the Radical Candor principle of Caring Personally. You don't need a formal meeting or HR intervention — a quick, 2-minute impromptu conversation is often enough. Address the behavior directly and respectfully, focusing on the specific issue rather than the person's character. The goal is to make the implicit explicit: if something is bothering you or affecting the team, say so kindly and clearly before it festers into a bigger conflict.
For hybrid and remote teams, the episode emphasizes that you can't rely on people picking up norms organically the way they might in a shared office. Instead, leaders should proactively create explicit norms around things like meeting availability, response times, time zone considerations, and how to recreate social interactions virtually. Have team conversations to co-create these norms rather than dictating them. Making the implicit explicit is the core principle — don't assume everyone shares the same assumptions about how remote work should function.
The team discusses how taking time for conversations — which can feel slow or unproductive in the moment — actually builds the mutual understanding that makes teams more effective long-term. Skipping those conversations to save time often leads to recurring conflicts, misaligned expectations, and etiquette breakdowns that cost far more time to fix later. Investing a few minutes in a candid discussion upfront is more efficient overall than repeatedly dealing with the fallout from unspoken norms.
The Radical Candor checklist from this episode includes three actionable tips:
Three ways to put this into practice.
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