2 min read

Podcast Episode 23: Can I Give Feedback to Peers? Should I?

Elisse Lockhart Jun 6, 2017 12:06:45 AM

Podcast Episode 23: Can I Give Feedback to Peers? Should I?

Table of Contents

The purpose of feedback is to help people find more success, so it’s bananas to think it’s only the manager’s job to give feedback. It’s everyone’s job! In this episode, Kim and Russ share stories and advice for giving feedback to your peers... and avoiding the pitfalls.

Listen to the episode:

This Episode at a Glance

This is the last episode of the first season of Radical Candor!

Kim and Russ start off with some stories about feedback systems they've seen work for encouraging feedback among peers. Kim shares two systems that worked well for peer-to-peer praise and appreciation at Google. Russ shares a story about receiving criticism from peers that helped him make a change that impacted his possible career trajectory at Google.

Given the purpose of praise and criticism, Kim and Russ argue that peer feedback is extremely important and impactful.

The more feedback between people on a team, the more success that team is likely to have.

This episode includes a listener question about peer feedback gone wrong. A listener wrote in to describe a situation when she had an issue with a peer, escalated to the boss, and got a terrible reaction from her peer -- the situation led to a huge rift in the relationship. Kim and Russ provide their advice, describing a clean escalation process from Fred Kofman.

If you are talking about someone and not to someone, you are operating in Manipulative Insincerity.

In addition to their advice on how to handle these escalations well, Kim and Russ also talk about what to do to resolve a situation that has already gone wrong.

The Candor Checklist

Kim and Russ wrap up the episode with their specific tips for giving feedback to peers. Try these out this week:

Tip 1: Start by asking for feedback.

Tip 2: Focus on the good stuff.

Tip 3: Be helpful.

Tip 4: Don’t make it about personality.

To hear more about these tips, listen to the episode and check out the resources below.

#CandorChat on 6/9 at 12pm Pacific

Join us for a Twitter Chat to discuss this episode as well as the rest of the season. We'll be kicking the chat off on Friday, 6/9 at 12pm Pacific. Find us at #CandorChat and join in!

We'll be asking these questions to get the discussion started, but feel free to bring your own questions and stories!

  1. Have you ever received impactful feedback from a peer?
  2. Have you ever given feedback to a peer and had it go wrong?
  3. Does your company have any systems in place to encourage peer feedback?
  4. What has been your favorite episode of Radical Candor?
  5. What are your current biggest challenges, either as a boss or with your boss?

We look forward to chatting with you!

Related Resources

We've got lots more to say about giving feedback and encouraging it between peers. Check out these articles, and explore our blog for more!

Key Questions Covered

Should I give feedback to my peers, or is that only a manager's job?

Giving feedback is everyone's job, not just managers'. The purpose of feedback is to help people find more success, and that goal doesn't disappear because someone isn't your direct report. Kim Scott and Russ Laraway argue that the more feedback flows between team members, the more successful that team is likely to be. Waiting for a manager to relay feedback slows growth and can damage relationships. If you care about your colleague's success, speak up directly.

What is the right way to escalate a peer conflict to a manager?

Before escalating a peer issue to your boss, you should talk directly to the person first. Kim and Russ reference a clean escalation process from Fred Kofman: if you're talking about someone instead of to them, you're operating in Manipulative Insincerity — one of the Radical Candor failure modes. A proper escalation means you've already attempted a direct conversation and it hasn't resolved things. Going straight to the boss without that step can create a serious rift in the peer relationship.

What should I do if a peer escalation has already gone wrong and damaged the relationship?

Kim and Russ acknowledge that sometimes things go sideways before you can course-correct. In those cases, the advice is to address the breakdown directly with the peer — acknowledge what happened, take responsibility for your part in the process, and try to rebuild trust through honest conversation. Avoiding the person or hoping the rift heals on its own tends to make things worse. The same Radical Candor principles that guide feedback also apply to repairing relationships.

What are the key tips for giving feedback to peers?

Kim and Russ offer a four-tip checklist for giving peer feedback:

  • Start by asking for feedback — it opens the door and signals you're in a collaborative, not combative, mindset.
  • Focus on the good stuff — praise is powerful and often neglected in peer relationships.
  • Be helpful — frame criticism around how it helps the person, not how it inconvenienced you.
  • Don't make it about personality — keep feedback specific and situational, not a character judgment.
How can teams create systems that encourage peer-to-peer feedback?

Kim shares two systems from Google that worked well for encouraging peer praise and appreciation. While the episode doesn't spell out every detail, the broader point is that organic, informal feedback cultures don't just happen — they're often supported by deliberate structures. These could include regular team rituals, dedicated time for shout-outs, or formal peer review processes. The goal is to normalize feedback as a two-way, everyone-to-everyone practice rather than something that only flows top-down.

Keep going.

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