I'm the 'Cool' Boss and It's Not Working 7 | 19
Are you the cool boss that everyone loves, but no one respects? Join Kim and Jason as they address a pressing question from a production supervisor...
On this episode of the Radical Candor podcast, Kim, Jason and Amy discuss the difference between feedback and nitpicking. Kim says, "There is one rule of thumb that applies to criticism in general but is especially good advice when you’re really busy and nerves are frayed. It’s best summed up by advice a friend’s godfather gave her at her wedding. 'If it’s brown flush it down. If it’s yellow let it mellow.' She got married on an island with a poor septic system, and this was a sign by all the toilets. But as her godfather said, 'These are words to live by. If there’s a big stinking problem talk about it before it fouls your relationship. But if it’s a small thing, let it go.'"
Listen to the episode:
Radical Candor is not an invitation to nitpick. Challenging people directly takes real energy— not only from the people you’re challenging but from you as well. So do it only for things that really matter. A good rule of thumb for any relationship is to leave three unimportant things unsaid each day.
Nitpicking: This is a term that was first used in 1956 (according to Merriam-Webster) to refer to the practice of giving too much attention to unimportant details — especially as a way of criticizing. The word originated from the act of fastidiously removing nits — the eggs of lice — from hair, a practice that takes an enormous amount of attention to detail.
What’s the difference between giving immediate feedback and nitpicking? If it’s not important, don’t say it right away or at all.
Legitimate feedback is helpful. Nitpicking is not helpful and can cause more stress.
@dannyserene They were the worst and were always lazy ! #worklife #managersbelike #toxicemployee #nitpicking #toxicmanagers #foodindustry #foryoupage #fypage #toxicworkenvironment #managerstories #greenscreen ♬ original sound - Danny Serene
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Improvising Radical Candor, a partnership between Radical Candor and Second City Works, introduces The Feedback Loop (think Groundhog Day meets The Office), a 5-episode workplace comedy series starring David Alan Grier that brings to life Radical Candor’s simple framework for navigating candid conversations.
You’ll get an hour of hilarious content about a team whose feedback fails are costing them business; improv-inspired exercises to teach everyone the skills they need to work better together, and after-episode action plans you can put into practice immediately.
We’re offering Radical Candor podcast listeners 10% off the self-paced e-course. Follow this link and enter the promo code FEEDBACK at checkout.
We’re excited to announce that Radical Candor is now available as an hour-long videobook that you can now stream at LIT Videobooks. Get yours to stream now >>
The Radical Candor Podcast is based on the book Radical Candor: Be A Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott.
Episodes are written and produced by Brandi Neal with script editing by Amy Sandler. The show features Radical Candor co-founders Kim Scott and Jason Rosoff and is hosted by Amy Sandler. Nick Carissimi is our audio engineer.
The Radical Candor Podcast theme music was composed by Cliff Goldmacher. Order his book: The Reason For The Rhymes: Mastering the Seven Essential Skills of Innovation by Learning to Write Songs.
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