What Is Manipulative Insincerity? Radical Candor Coaches Share Their Epic Feedback Fails
We've all been there at one time or another — too tired to care or argue. Hanging on by a thread with no craps left to give. This is how folks often...
2 min read
Brandi Neal Jul 17, 2023 12:30:14 AM
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What's your Radical Candor story? Radical Candor means giving a damn about the people you work with, sharing more than just your work self and encouraging everyone who reports to you to do the same.
This means actively soliciting feedback from your manager, peers and direct reports about what's working well and what could be better.
It also means giving feedback — both praise and criticism — that's kind, clear, specific and sincere, even when it feels awkward to do so.
Sounds simple, right? We like to say that practicing Radical Candor is simple but not easy. Despite it feeling daunting at times to deliver difficult feedback, most people are grateful they've been told something they need to know.
After all, no one can fix a problem or change their behavior if they don't have information about what needs to change and why.
In the six videos below, some of our Radical Candor Coaches share stories about times they received feedback that helped them succeed, correct a mistake, leave a job and be better leaders.
Radical Candor CEO and Co-Founder Jason Rosoff shares a story about a time a colleague gave him invaluable feedback about how he came across during an important presentation.
His colleague's kind and clear feedback allowed Jason to address and correct misperceptions about how he felt about a big project moving forward.
Stephanie Usry, our first Candor Coach, shares a story about a time she received feedback she was falling short in one area of her job performance.
The question was less about whether Stephanie could meet expectations and more about whether or not she wanted to.
After some soul searching, Stephanie realized that what she really wanted to do was to be her own boss and she may have never had the courage to take the leap if she hadn't received this specific piece of feedback.
Candor Coach Farrah Mitra received feedback as she was moving on to a new job that helped her be a better boss in her next role.
Farrah's direct report shared with her that while it was clear Farrah cared about the team deeply, sometimes that care manifested in her withholding information from her direct reports and this made some of them feel unsafe.
This feedback allowed Farrah to recognize that her good intentions were having a negative impact.
Candor Coach Mike Pugh shares a story about the time he was delivering a Radical Candor workshop he was sure was going brilliantly.
The feedback he received from the organizer during the break helped Mike change his approach for the second half of the workshop and give attendees a more inclusive experience.
She took this feedback to heart and it changed her life and career.
Send us your Radical Candor story by emailing it to advice@radicalcandor.com.
*This post was updated July 17, 2023.
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Radical Candor is a management framework developed by Kim Scott that means genuinely caring about the people you work with while being honest with them. In practice, it means giving feedback — both praise and criticism — that is kind, clear, specific, and sincere, even when it feels awkward. The core idea is that people can't fix problems or change behavior without information about what needs to change and why. Practicing Radical Candor is simple in concept but not easy to execute consistently.
Actively soliciting feedback creates a culture where honest communication flows in all directions — from your manager, peers, and direct reports. Most people won't volunteer critical feedback unless they feel it's safe and expected to do so. By asking regularly, you signal that you value honesty, remove the awkwardness of unsolicited criticism, and give yourself the information you need to improve. The Radical Candor coaches' stories show that some of the most career-changing feedback only came because someone was willing to speak up in the right moment.
Candor Coach Farrah Mitra's story illustrates this well. Her direct reports could see she cared deeply about the team, but her way of expressing that care — withholding information to protect them — actually made some team members feel unsafe. This is a classic example of intention versus impact: what you mean to do and what people actually experience can be very different. Radical Candor encourages leaders to seek feedback specifically about impact, not just intentions, so they can close that gap.
Absolutely — several of the Radical Candor coaches' stories prove it. Stephanie Usry received feedback that she was falling short in her role, which led her to realize she wanted to be her own boss and gave her the courage to make that leap. Melissa Andrada was told she could have sounded more confident after a pitch, took that to heart, and says it changed her life and career. Critical feedback, delivered with care, gives you the information you need to make meaningful changes — or meaningful decisions.
Radical Candor feedback isn't vague or sugar-coated, but it's also not harsh. Jason Rosoff's story is a good model: a colleague gave him feedback right after a presentation about how he came across — specific enough that he could act on it, kind enough that it didn't feel like an attack. The goal is to give the other person enough concrete detail to understand what happened and why it matters, while making it clear you're sharing the feedback because you care about their success, not to criticize them.
Start small. Ask one person — a peer, a direct report, or your manager — for specific feedback on something recent: a meeting you ran, a presentation you gave, or a decision you made. Frame it as wanting to improve, not just seeking validation. When you receive the feedback, resist the urge to defend yourself; just listen and thank them. Over time, this builds the psychological safety that makes candid feedback flow naturally in both directions. Kim Scott's founding story shows that even a brief, honest comment from a stranger can plant seeds that change everything.
Three ways to put this into practice.
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