To be really great at feedback you have to get it, give it, and encourage it. All of those things feel weird to do at first, but there are some easy things you can do to make them feel much more natural. As a manager who wants to start introducing Radical Candor on your team, we suggest that you start by asking for feedback from your team. In this post, we’ll share some tips for managers who want to get…
Around the time the first edition of the book came out, Helen Rumbelow wrote an article about Radical Candor. I really enjoyed talking with Helen, and was so happy that she immediately understood the difference between Radical Candor and Obnoxious Aggression. Reading Helen’s article, I also realized that I haven’t talked nearly enough about what to do when you disagree with feedback you get. By not explaining this clearly enough, I have given Helen the impression that pretty much all…
Hopefully you’re out there asking for and getting feedback regularly. That’s great! Now, if you’re getting a lot of feedback, we can pretty much guarantee that it won’t all be high quality, actionable stuff. We’ve said before, “Don’t criticize the criticism,” and we’ve talked about what to do if you disagree with the feedback. But what about feedback that you’re not sure what it means, or how to act on? What do you do with that? We recently got this…
Have you heard Kim tell the origin story for Radical Candor? When she was living in New York, a complete stranger approached her on the street and Challenged her Directly while also showing that he Cared Personally. Kim was amazed by the interaction, and further inspired by the words the stranger left her with: It's not mean, it's clear. Watch the video for the full story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViLau3YpVLU Also check out episode 2 of the Radical Candor podcast for more about…
Kim shares a story about a time that she describes as the worst moment of her career. She learns a hard lesson after being Ruinously Empathetic with one of her employees for a period of several months. Although she Cares Personally and tries to be "nice," her lack of Direct Challenges causes issues for her, for the employee, and for her whole team. Watch her story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uN0DQRqmQNs Listen to episode 4 of the Radical Candor podcast to hear Kim and Russ discuss this story…
It's time for some Radical Candor! Russ tells a story of receiving Radical Candor from his Colonel in the Marines. He gets a Direct Challenge that gives him a clear message for how he can improve, and as a result, Russ is able to become a better leader. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTNK70WJc58 What may not be as clear in this version of the story is the way that the Colonel showed that he Cared Personally. This was something that he had done over time…
Have you ever noticed that when it rains, everyone shows up to work talking about how everyone else can’t drive in the rain? Have you noticed that no one is showing up saying they themselves can’t drive in the rain? I gotta believe that some of those complaining about others’ poor driving, must also be driving poorly and the target of others’ complaints. Well, here at Candor’s Global Headquarters we get asked a lot some version of “how do you…
Most of us don't consider ourselves to be jerks or rude people. So if we discover that we've been Obnoxiously Aggressive, we're chagrined! Unfortunately, the natural tendency then is to back off the Direct Challenge. Obnoxious Aggression turns into Manipulative Insincerity. In our latest video, Candor Trainer Stephanie Usry tells her stories about following this journey. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaDhSO2j898 Next time you find yourself being Obnoxiously Aggressive, remember this story. Instead of backing off your Direct Challenge, push yourself higher on the Care…
Have you ever held back from saying what you really thought at work because you didn't want to hurt someone's feelings? Have you seen something that needed improvement but didn't tell the person, figuring they would realize and fix it on their own? If you said yes to either of these questions, you may be exhibiting Ruinous Empathy. But don't despair! So many of us have made these mistakes. We care about the people we work with, and we don't want…
Obnoxious Aggression can feel like a harsh label. But does this statement sound like something you might say? I will assert for the record that I am not a jerk. But I do sometimes behave like one. With the chaos and stress of work, it can sometimes be hard to take a step back and make sure we're showing we Care Personally. We all make mistakes, but it doesn't mean we're bad people. In this video, Kim tells a story…