Best of the Radical Candor Podcast with Ally Love

Best Of: Ally Love On Radical Candor and Real Success 6 | 15

In this Best Of the Radical Candor Podcast, we revisit one of our most popular episodes. Kim, Jason, and Amy chat with Ally Love, renowned Peloton instructor, TODAY Show contributor, and founder of Love Squad. They delve into Ally’s integration of the Radical Candor framework into both her professional and personal life, exploring how it has bolstered her confidence and leadership skills. Get insights into maintaining wellness amidst a demanding career, the power of morning affirmations, and the impact of honest communication on relationships.

Listen to the episode:

Episode At a Glance: Boss Up With Ally Love

Ally Love is the CEO of Love Squad, Peloton instructor, host, inspiring speaker and Adidas global ambassador who can be seen wearing a multitude of hats, from the bike to the floor of the Brooklyn Nets arena, where she serves as host.

Ally was born and raised in Miami, Florida, and headed to New York City to pursue and eventually receive her Bachelor of Fine Arts from Fordham University and minor in Theology. As a dancer for the New York Knicks and participant in contemporary ballet companies throughout North America, Ally began exploring her career in performance.

In 2015, Ally founded and created the Love Squad community to empower women through the facilitation of motivational and educational conversations. Inclusivity, boldness, respect, and authenticity are the values that Love Squad strives to instill in women everywhere, both personally and professionally. Love Squad gets real about topics from negotiating salaries to fertility, tackles the realities of running a business while raising a family, and encourages women to boss up and take control of their lives.

As an empowering speaker and writer, Ally created her video series, The Basics of Bossing Up, where she discusses key virtues and presents tangible takeaways for her viewers to implement in their own lives. Instead of getting caught up in the buzzword of the moment, Ally takes it back to the basics of how to execute success, and ultimately create the life you want to live.

This episode not only shares Ally’s transformative journey but also provides practical advice for anyone looking to enhance their life through authenticity and mindful leadership.

The Job of the Boss — It All Starts With You!

Boss Up

If you’re the boss, it’s your job to guide your team to achieve results. And, your relationships and your responsibilities at work reinforce each other positively or negatively, and this dynamic is what drives you forward—or leaves you dead in the water.

What’s more, your relationships with your direct reports affect the relationships they have with their direct reports, and your team’s overall culture.

Like it or not, your ability to build trusting, human connections with the people who report directly to you will determine the quality of everything that follows.

Resources: Boss Up With Ally Love


@the_radical_candor @Ally Love is on the Radical Candor podcast! #radicalcandor #workplaceculture #bossup #defleppard #peloton #feelgoodfriday ♬ original sound – Radical Candor


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Best of the Radical Candor Podcast with Ally Love

[00:00:00] Amy Sandler: Hey, it’s Amy Sandler and April is Stress Awareness Month. So we’re sharing a few episodes on that theme for you all. We’re excited to kick this off with a Best Of episode with Ally Love. You may take her Peloton class.

[00:00:19] I especially love the part where we discussed Ally’s morning routine, which inspired an unexpected story from Kim about the actual origins of Radical Candor. And if you stick around for the end of this one, you also may hear Ally sing some Def Leppard. Enjoy the episode.

[00:00:43] Kim Scott: Hello everybody, and welcome to the Radical Candor Podcast. I’m Kim Scott. 

[00:00:48] Jason Rosoff: I’m Jason Rosoff. 

[00:00:50] Amy Sandler: And I’m Amy Sandler. And today we are focusing on wellness at work, specifically where we all start our practice of Radical Candor, which is ourselves. And we have got such a special guest for you all today, Ally Love. Hello, Ally. 

[00:01:07] Kim Scott: Yay, Ally!

[00:01:08] Ally Love: Hi! Oh my gosh. How are you? Kim, Amy, Jason, what’s up? 

[00:01:14] Amy Sandler: Well, we were just talking about your, I was going to say what a career, but even just your morning, I think you had a Peloton class, you were on the Today Show. 

[00:01:23] Ally Love: Yes.

[00:01:23] Amy Sandler: Beyond just today, you’re also, you’ve been a New York Knicks dancer, host of the Brooklyn Nets. For the last ten seasons. Oh my gosh, host of the Netflix show Dance 100 and founder of the lifestyle brand, Love Squad. And Jason, how do you know Ally? 

[00:01:40] Jason Rosoff: Oh, I’m a Peloton rider and I’ve taken many of Ally’s classes, especially love the Feel Good rides. And I was super, super stoked when you started doing the K-pop rides. I’m a huge K-pop fan also. 

[00:01:53] Ally Love: Good, I love that. Yes, we didn’t have it a part of our music genre at Peloton. And when I joined, I was like, so can we talk about this? Can we get, this going? And of course in true Peloton fashion, they’re like, absolutely. 

[00:02:05] Kim Scott: That’s amazing. 

[00:02:07] Amy Sandler: We love that. And in addition to Peloton, you’ve also been on the Today Show where you’re now a contributor sharing fitness and wellness tips. And in fact, you listeners may have seen Ally recently on Today, where you shared, Ally, your own experience of how Radical Candor written by our very own Kim Scott, it can help you boss up and increase your confidence at work. And it was a short trip from us being so excited, Brandi Neal, reaching out on social media, and then we heard back from you. And so, we are so excited to have this conversation and learn more. 

[00:02:43] Kim Scott: You know, I have to tell you, Ally, this morning I was talking to my, I was talking to my editor who said that he starts many mornings with you and that he loves you. And if you want to write a book, he wants to edit it. So there you go. 

[00:02:56] Ally Love: Oh, wow. Thank you. I know a lot of my colleagues right now, there are many books out there. I still have to read a few that are, that just launched. But, um, I know a lot of my colleagues have written a book, but I do appreciate that. I’ll keep that in the forefront of my mind. 

[00:03:10] Amy Sandler: Awesome. 

[00:03:10] Ally Love: But I will say, wait, Kim, I will say, uh, your big shoes to fill because when I do think of like, and this is a different than, uh, an autobiography or a life’s journey or something that has to do in the fitness space where my fellow instructors are thriving, like their content, their books are amazing. In your space those are, that’s where I see myself in terms of hashtag goals. That’s what I’d like to write is something what you’ve written about. But also those are big shoes to fill. Like, I mean, come on. You, what? 

[00:03:41] Kim Scott: Well, look, I wrote many books that did not get published before I wrote this one. So, in fact, I almost didn’t even try to publish. I thought, well, I’m writing Radical Candor for myself. Uh, and I’m not even going to try. So luckily I tried. So keep writing, keep writing, because I think you really inspire, I mean, I think the hard thing about what we’re talking about is behavior change, and you help people change their behavior. You, and that is magic.

[00:04:08] Ally Love: Thank you. I try my best. I don’t, I don’t want to

[00:04:10] Kim Scott: You’re succeeding. 

[00:04:11] Ally Love: I try. I’m trying. I’m trying. 

[00:04:13] Amy Sandler: And the kind of magic that you inspire people, Kim, you have talked about staying centered as your happiness recipe. And I think one of the things that’s helpful for each of us to know what it is we do to stay centered. I know I need to move and I need to meditate. I need to laugh. And I probably most of all need to not take myself so seriously. Kim, you need your eight hours of sleep, your hour of exercise. You need dinner with someone you love. Uh, and how would you describe your happiness recipe, Ally? 

[00:04:48] Ally Love: Oh, you know, what’s funny is while you were reading Kim’s, I was like, are we twins? Are we the same person? Yeah. 

[00:04:54] Amy Sandler: See, those shoes are already pretty close. 

[00:04:54] Ally Love: I know, because what you said is like dinner with someone I love it. That is true. I love sitting around. Sitting around. But I love sitting around food and having great conversation with people. 

[00:05:08] Kim Scott: Yes.

[00:05:08] Ally Love: That understand me and that truly make me feel safe. And that to me is such a priority. Um, in terms of like my routine, in terms of like I always say like your perfect day, uh, for me is being around, especially at the end of the day is being around folks that I can just, like, I can take that exhale and let it all go. And Amy, I love that you were saying, you know, that everything’s not that serious. Like you just need to relax a little bit. I tend to align with you on that. And that I want to be, I suffer from like this, whatever being perfect, wanting to be perfect, perfectionism. It’s like, I want to do well by you. I want to be prepared. I want everything to be perfect. And that’s not how life is and so I have to talk myself kind of through that. And especially in the mornings before I gear up, for example, in a morning like today, it’s like, I have those self-talks with myself. And so on a quote unquote perfect day or on a day that makes me feel good, it’s like, I need to connect with myself. And I asked myself this one two-part question, is how or what do I want to feel today?

[00:06:11] Allowing the answer to that, to anchor the entire day puts me in a position. And I’ve been talking about this a lot recently. But it puts me in a position to be proactive instead of reactive, right? You open up Instagram or you open up, um, your emails, right? From work. And most times there are things that you are now feeding yourself, which is natural. It’s normal. But instead of it, I’m allowing the things that I’m like taking in or the things that I’m feeding my mind and my body to dictate how I feel by being reactionary to what they have put out or what they’ve said in email. They didn’t say, thank you. Now I’m upset. 

[00:06:47] You know, it’s just like, instead of that being the case, I’m already proactive in that no matter what I, whatever comes up on my Instagram or whatever email is sent to me, I’m centering myself around the word or the feeling of what I’m carrying with me to my, you know, that day, what I’m anchoring me on that day. And so I do that in the morning. It’s like making sure I establish my anchor in the morning and that has been very helpful. And I do enjoy working out. 

[00:07:11] Kim Scott: That is so brilliant. 

[00:07:12] Amy Sandler: I love that. And Ally, the word that was coming up for me was nourish, right? Because you have your evening at the end of the day where you kind of let go and exhale and you’re surrounded by love and fun and laughter and you’re feeling nourished. And replenished. And then in the morning, you’re actually nourishing, you’re choosing what to consume and nourish yourself with as you go out in the day. ‘Cause, and especially for you as someone, you give so much. And so it feels like it seems really important for you to actually have that time for yourself to fill your cup before it goes out in the world.

[00:07:49] Ally Love: Absolutely. 

[00:07:49] Kim Scott: May I ask you a question, Ally? How, where exactly, like, I want to double click on this ’cause I think it’s brilliant what you do. Like, do you do this in front of the mirror? Do you do this when you’re still in bed? Like, like where do you make this decision? Because it’s a really important decision. What, you know, how you’re going to react to all the nonsense that’s got, that is coming your way. 

[00:08:12] Ally Love: Yeah. 

[00:08:13] Kim Scott: On any given day. 

[00:08:13] Ally Love: I mean, I love that you asked me this because I never share where I do this ’cause it’s like the place that everyone goes when you wake up in the morning. 

[00:08:20] Kim Scott: Yeah. 

[00:08:20] Ally Love: And sit on the toilet. It’s not that shiny, you know? And, and I’m very open and transparent and so I do it two places. One most times I do it in the car, like after I’ve gotten up in the morning and I’ve hydrated and I’ve prayed and like, you know, I’ll do it in the car on my way to work, um, or if I’m walking to the train, you know, whatever the means of, uh, transportation is to work is where it’s a, that’s a physical reminder for me.

[00:08:44] So if I haven’t asked myself that question by the time I get in the car, the car is my, because I’ve created a habit of doing it, it’s my physical reminder to ask myself that question. But the reality is, our mornings aren’t, you know, how to wake up and have on makeup on and looking good. I wake up like everyone else. Breath is bad. I’m probably dehydrated. So I need to, you know, I prepared the night before, but I, everybody, we all, you know, get up in the morning and we look like ourselves and I go to the bathroom and that’s the first thing I do. And I sit there and I’m like, ooh, that’s also, again, a reminder of asking yourself that question. So, yes, it’s a great place. 

[00:09:21] Kim Scott: It is a great place for deep thoughts. Actually, in fact, Radical Candor was born on my parents’ toilet. You heard it here. When I was like fifty years old. 

[00:09:29] Amy Sandler: This is a different origin story. I don’t think we’ve heard this one yet. 

[00:09:33] Kim Scott: Yeah, no, my grandmother had yelled at me because I had lied to someone and I was crying. And then she said, you know, I’m telling you this. I’m telling you about the truth because it matters to you, and it’s important, and because I love you, and if you can listen to people’s criticism of you, you’ll be a better person, you’ll have a happier life. And I went away, I retreated to my parents’ bathroom. And sat down on the toilet for a while. And that was where I was like, you know, granny is right about that. So it’s a good spot. It’s a good, it’s good. I love it. 

[00:10:09] Ally Love: You didn’t know you were going to be talking about this when you invited me on this podcast. Look at that.

[00:10:13] Kim Scott: No, I didn’t. This was unplanned.

[00:10:15] Amy Sandler: Ally, can you just, for our listeners again, just ask, speak that question so that people can really anchor that for themselves as they start their day. 

[00:010:23] Ally Love: Absolutely. It’s what or how do I want to feel today? And it could be anything from, I’ll give you examples. Sometimes that’s actually helpful is, I want to be quiet today.

[00:10:33] So when you have a work meeting, you’re not going to be the loudest voice on the call and you’re going to feel good about that. Um, you can say that I want to bring joy today. So when you get into the office, that’s what you’re emoting. That’s what you’re bringing. If somebody shows up with a bad attitude, you’re like, ooh, that’s not my bag. I’m bringing joy, you know. And I think that’s what it is. 

[00:10:52] Some days I wake up and I’m like, oh, we’re getting it done today. Like, what do I want to feel today? I want to feel accomplished and any roadblocks I’m moving in. And you know why truly this question, this two-part question became so profound for me is, um, I mean, you talked about feeling nourished is that what I would do is I’d get up. I try to be a good citizen of like my work environment, go to work, perform, get in meetings. And I, you know, say something or react to something in the moment. I feel like it was fair, I also feel like maybe I was being, was I being mean? Was I being kind? I couldn’t tell how it was coming off, like how I was being portrayed and I’d get home, and I’d replay my entire day over and over and everything.

[00:11:34] And I’m like, did I make her upset? Oh my gosh. Did she take that the wrong way? And I have no clue. So I’m over here wasting, like this is now taking up brain space. I’m allowing the, this, these thoughts to take a vacancy for me right, in my mind. And I just started to feel bad because I’m like, I couldn’t tell my metric for success. Was that a good day? Was that a bad day? Am I proud of myself? Am I mad at my book? How do I feel about me? Which is important. And so what I realized is that the change for it is for me to set what I want to feel and how I want to feel before it happens. So at the end of the day, if I was direct in a meeting, I say mission accomplished.

[00:12:10] I was a direct, I said, I was coming in hot. I did, every meeting I came in, the class was hard. When I saw you, I was like bold. Like I met that. Today on this Tuesday, I came in hot. And when I look back, every reaction, every action was coming in hot. Job well done, Ally Love. Job well done. 

[00:12:30] Kim Scott: I love that.

[00:12:31] Amy Sandler: And Ally, just, and you know, as you’re saying this, I am also, what’s coming up for me is how we can actually support each other with those intentions. So I’m really curious, what was your feeling you wanted to cultivate for today and how we can support you? 

[00:12:47] Ally Love: Oh, you know, when I got up this morning, I said, I have a, I said it in my class recently, this is very recent. But it’s something that comes into my mind is I want to stay present. Um, I want to be focused, and I want to have fun. So when I woke up this morning, I said today, be present. The reason for that is, you know, sometimes when you try something new or that’s scary, it goes by in a blur. You don’t remember it. So I want to remember everything about being on the, guest hosting on the Today Show for the second time, right? Want to remember, it’s focused. From the teleprompter, it’s your turn. You lock into whatever is in front of you lock in and don’t forget to enjoy it, like have fun. And so that was, I talked about it with my husband.

[00:13:23] You know, we went over everything. How do you feel? And I was like, okay, I’m going to be present, stay focused and have fun. Those are the three things that I’ve, you know, like I said, I’ve been working on or thinking about often. That’s what’s going to lead me. Um, anytime I got nervous, I came back to those two things. Are you focused? Are you present? Are you having fun? Right? 

[00:13:39] Amy Sandler: I love it. And so this morning, was this your second guest? 

[00:13:44] Ally Love: Yes. So I’ve been a contributor now, which is also who am I? What? What am I? Who says what? Me, a contributor on the today show. What? But I’ve been a part of like NBC and like a contributor on the today show since I think I announced in May.

[00:13:59] So May, April, so it’s been just about five months, I guess that is four or five months. And after being, and that means I would, I come on once a week, here or there, like, and I do my segments. And so it can be a take piece. It can be around health, wellness, and fitness, or it can just be things around building confidence, which is what the segment, when I talked about Radical Candor. Um, and I would say probably six weeks, maybe a little more into doing a few segments. They asked me to actually be a guest host on the show. 

[00:14:30] Amy Sandler: Amazing. 

[00:14:30] Ally Love: And I was like, ooh, they made a mistake. I was like, oh, they made a mistake. Maybe they thought I was someone else granted, like Libby and my boss, yes, she knows me. And so I came on the first time and Al Roker and Craig Melvin were so welcoming because I got to co-host with them. It was a Friday and so it was more fun and free. And then they’re like, great. So, you know, everyone said great feedback and then I didn’t hear anything for a while. So I came on for my, you know, five minute segments and then I was like, well, they don’t ask me back. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. 

[00:14:59] And then I got an email. I was like, we need you again to guest host. And I was like, what? Yes. So today was with Al Roker again and Sheinelle Jones, which was great. 

[00:15:08] Kim Scott: So cool. Did you have fun? 

[00:15:10] Ally Love: Oh my gosh, I had a blast. We got, I got to dance. I got to eat some beans and rice. I got to talk about Taylor Swift, which is always a pleasure. I got to talk about Usher, like all the good things. 

[00:15:21] Kim Scott: Love it. 

[00:15:21] Amy Sandler: Maybe we need to add some things to our podcast to make it, we need some dancing. 

[00:15:26] Kim Scott: We do. We do. We do. You, I know you love all of your rides, but what are some of your favorite rides, Ally? 

[00:15:35] Ally Love: Well, Jason said it in the very beginning, the Feel Good rides are, I would say, it’s, it is hard to choose. You know, you ask parents, which one’s your favorite kid? They have a favorite kid. Everyone knows every parent has a favorite kid. 

[00:15:46] Kim Scott: I don’t. No, I don’t.

[00:15:51] Ally Love: Yeah, you do. But. 

[00:15:53] Amy Sandler: Is it time to go back and sit on that toilet, Kim, and think about what you’ve said? 

[00:15:59] Ally Love: But the, um, the, you know, the nice thing to say is, you know, you love your kids equally. And that’s the thing. I do enjoy doing all my rides. Every ride type, I have a hand in my schedule of what you know, speaking up on what I like to teach, what, and then Peloton saying what I need to teach in terms of servicing our global members.

[00:16:17] But Feel Good ride was one of those things that I was in the car with my husband and we were, I just started at Peloton and I was doing very poorly. And if you’re wondering like what’s poorly, let me give you an example. 

[00:16:27] So, in the beginning days of when I started, we probably, I don’t remember the exact numbers, but it was somewhere in the low hundred-thousands, um, that we had in terms of membership. We weren’t super global yet. We hadn’t opened our UK studio. So we were very much in the U.S. Um, we were like U.S. centric. And so most of my colleagues, when they would do a ride and it would go on demand over time, it would probably yield, let’s say seven days later, it yields somewhere around twenty thousand rides, that was huge. Twenty thousand, thirty thousand people took that ride. 

[00:17:10] So Ally Love would do a ride at this time of like my beginning days, the first six months of Peloton. And the ride would go on demand and seven days later there will be four hundred and thirty-eight people. That did that ride. Now, if you know math the way I know math, I know that thirty and twenty thousand is greater than four hundred and like thirty-eight, right?

[00:17:23] I know that that one number is bigger than the other. And then if you know math really well, you can see that the disparity between those numbers are even greater. And so it was one of those things where I would go home and I felt really bad about myself. And then I would try to look on the broad side, bright side, and I’d say at least about five hundred people like me. 

[00:17:41] Kim Scott: That was my initial response was that five hundred people is a lot of people, four hundred and thirty-eight people. That’s a lot. 

[00:17:48] Ally Love: Yes. You know, it’s a lot of people. And so as I started to, again, coming in, never being a fitness instructor, this being brand new, I was still hosting for the Nets and an Adidas ambassador.

[00:17:58] So I knew the camera. I wasn’t scared to speak or, you know, I enjoyed cycling. I enjoyed the class. I just wasn’t connecting all the pieces of the puzzle. And so we were, I think we were in like a taxi, Uber or something. And I was with my husband and he’s like, well, what do you think most people were talking about, how I’m feeling? He said, what do you think most people, right, want to feel when they get on a Peloton ride with anyone, not just with you. I was like, I don’t know. Like, I don’t know what they want to feel. It’s like, well, what would you, what do you want to feel when you take a ride? What do you want to feel?

[00:18:28] So I just want to feel good. Like, that’s it. Like I’m very simple in my mind. I want to get on, I want to clip-in and I want to work out. And at the end, I just want to feel good. Like that’s good. And he’s like, I can tell you right now, that’s what most people, if not all people want to feel. And I said, and I looked at him and I said, do you mean a feel good ride? And he’s like, yeah. And he will take credit that he created this ride. But, um, which he did, but don’t tell him that don’t do that. 

[00:18:53] And so I pitch, I put together what is a Feel Good ride because you have to distinguish it from everything that we’re offering. Like what makes this title different? What makes this ride structure different? And so I did on the, I did that work. I tested it out in a few of my business-as-usual classes. And then I submitted it to my team at Peloton and they approved it. And we started doing Feel Good ride. And it’s uplifting music, you know, that at least the minimum of five minutes, there will be relentless hard work because in order to feel good, you got to go through some things and we’ll go through them together. Um, outside of that, you decide what you want to do on the ride that makes you feel good. I will give you direction. You make those decisions that work for you that day. Um, the five, the minimum of five minutes or whatever that number is a non-negotiable though. You have to partake. We all have to partake.

[00:19:35] And so I would say that ride became my favorite ride. And then a couple years later, I created Sundays with Love. I’ve been testing it out for a while. And so I was able to create Sundays with Love in terms of taking adjectives or virtues and just amplifying those virtues through music. Through stories and tales and cliches and things like that, that we’ve all heard for years and putting them in context and then wrapping that up into a workout. So you’re having like a visceral reaction to the information. 

[00:20:04] Kim Scott: That is so cool. It’s really, you’re helping people change their behavior. 

[00:20:09] Jason Rosoff: One of the things I really appreciate about Peloton is that you can get different things out of it. And I kind of see like you and Matt, uh, Wilpers as like one of them is like focus on fitness and the numbers and progress. And the other one is like, focus on yourself, your wellbeing, like where your head and, Like head and heart alignment. Um, and some days I want to go by the numbers. You know what I’m saying? I want to see where I’m at. And some days I just need to move my body and feel better about things. And I love that both of those things are offered to me. But I will say that I do more Feel Good rides than I do Matt’s rides. 

[00:20:47] Ally Love: No, Matt, funny thing is Matt and I came in at the same, Matt Wilpers and I came in at the same time. Yeah. Same time. And he is the numbers person and he loves that and I love him for that. He’s exceptional. 

[00:21:02] Kim Scott: So you started a company, uh, the Love Squad. I would love to get some radical candor on Radical Candor from you. What is it about Radical Candor that helps you manage that company, helps you lead that company and, and what ideas in the book don’t really work so much for you? We want to know. We want to know the highs and lows. 

[00:21:21] Ally Love: Well, I think I don’t know about like doesn’t work for me, but I think the biggest takeaway for me was how to deal, like understanding that every whether you are employee or employer, how everyone is unique and different and that sometimes you can see an interaction of two people yelling at each other. And you think, wow, this is a poor work environment, and it actually works for them. 

[00:21:43] Kim Scott: Yes. 

[00:21:43] Ally Love: So it’s not taking, it’s, it’s not taking a linear approach to what a successful working environment is or what a success or what a working environment should be or was before and looking at it and as more of a, like with the, I guess, more versatile approach of understanding the individuals in the work environment, make up the environment ,and the way that you engage and interact with respective individuals will change from time to time.

[00:22:11] And that I think has been the biggest takeaway for me. Um, so if you look at that, that same concept, and I think that was for me was the biggest concept. If you look at that, if you, if I don’t do that, that’s actually what doesn’t work for me is when I just, I’m like, oh, I’m going to manage, you know, my team while we’re small. We’ve been around for a long time. We’re doing these events. If I manage them or micromanage them in a way that they don’t understand, that doesn’t make them feel safe or doesn’t make them feel good, I think that that will cause more harm, right, than, like, than, than, than help and also more conflict between us.

[00:22:42] And so for me, even I take that concept, whether I’m, you know, managing my employees at Love Squad or I’m in a room at Peloton and we’re having a conversation with instructors or instructor team or our, um, chief content officer. It’s like, I’m, I’m recognizing that these individuals, the way I communicate, I want to be effective.

[00:23:01] I was talking to my mom about this. It’s like, I can, look, it’s this concept of you can, when you walk across the street, there’s a car coming and you know, you have, it’s a red light and you have the little Walkman across the street that says, walk. There’s a car that you notice that is speeding. You have the right of way.

[00:23:17] What is your choice? Do you stay on the sidewalk or do you walk? And the reason I was telling my mom, I asked this is because when you walk out there, you can walk out in the middle of the street and get hit and still be right. So it’s not about being right. It’s about being effective. And so I think sometimes when we say, well, I’m going to stay on the sidewalk, you, you, you get nervous because you don’t want to be wrong.

[00:23:37] You’re like, well, I have the right of way. Why do I have to stand on the side? And this person’s speeding. And it’s like, I get what you’re saying. I understand that you have the right, or you are right. But do you want to be effective? And communication is the way that you can be most effective and eventually most productive as a team.

[00:23:54] And so that’s what I garnered from that. This book actually came before I was at Peloton. 

[00:23:59] Kim Scott: Wow. 

[00:24:00] Ally Love: Um, yeah. So back, back in the day, I was hosting for the Nets. And I was also, um, I’ll tell you what, a Victoria, like a Victoria’s Secret model. So they don’t have in house models where we would do fit modeling. So everything that Victoria, Victoria’s Secret put out in the stores was made off my measurement, and like made off my body.

[00:24:18] That’s the simplest way to put it. And I worked there, I was there for probably six years. I think there, I would go in twice a week for two hours and you know, you try on garments, you give feedback, you wear tests and all this stuff. And I remember one of the old managers there at the time, Heather. She was, she’s really cool. She lives in Brooklyn. She’s like the cool mom, right? She would come in and we were talking and I was dealing with some frustrations within my career. I was just like, at the time I had an agent, and I was trying to communicate, and I was trying to communicate, you know, again, I’m young. I don’t know. I just want you to help me.

[00:24:49] I want you to get me to the next level. I want to just be better than what I am now. And I couldn’t communicate that effectively because the way I was going about it just obviously was ineffective because I was frustrated. So we were in a meeting and, you know, they always, we all are good friends to this day. So we were checking in and I’m like, Hey, I’m dealing with this. She was like, you know what? I have a book for you. And she gave me, she went to her desk, she brought in Radical Candor. She was like, read this book. It’s me. It’s amazing. And I was like, don’t worry. I’ll go get my own copy. Like I’ll get it. She was like, no, you can have it.

[00:25:17] Like that’s what you do with books. You pass them along. And she gave me your book. And it was, and it was in that, that I started to develop and reframe my mindset of I, not only like carried myself, but how I showed up when it came to my business. Like I am my brand, even, you know, when I’m twenty-two years old, I am my brand. And so I needed to communicate in a way that the people on my team at that time, it was effective for both of us. 

[00:25:47] Kim Scott: So good. I love it. I need to meet Heather and tell her thank you. 

[00:25:51] Ally Love: Yeah, I will. 

[00:25:52] Amy Sandler: That’s a great origin story. You know, Ally, as you were talking about why you find Radical Candor so helpful and effective communication, and what I heard actually was almost impact versus intention.

[00:26:06] Like my, my, my intention is to have a kind and clear conversation with you, but it’s not landing that way. How do I need to adjust? One of the things that came up as you were talking about Peloton and the individuality, and as Jason was saying, feel good or measurement. There’s so much about knowing what’s going to work well in a one-on-one relationship with the people that you work with.

[00:26:30] And so I’m just so curious, you have a dance background and how much do you think of leadership is almost like curating and choreography of knowing, well, Amy and Ally might work a certain way, but then when it’s Amy, Ally and Brandi, it might have a different dynamic. And then it’s, then we add Kim in.

[00:26:48] And so I’m just so curious, like how do you leverage one on one relationships and then create like a team that’s really, dancing together. 

[00:26:56] Ally Love: I love that idea, dancing together. Well, I think the number one thing too that comes to mind is on one in one-on-one relationships is to stay curious. Of what is working for that person in the season that they’re in, because it does change.

[00:27:09] So if I think of where I was and what drove, like, what was my driving force, uh, four years ago, five years ago at Peloton, it’s much different now because my goals have changed. You know, I’ve grown in different areas. My life has changed and evolved. And so I think it’s one, making sure you have constant and clear communication.

[00:27:26] Two, I think it’s staying curious around where the person is and what they desire and helping, if they don’t know, helping them to arrive at that point. And then I think it’s one of those things where once you’ve had these conversations, you’re able to bring people together and to your point, I love that you think of it as dancing.

[00:27:44] Sometimes I think of it as like, is it a maestro that like is an orchestra? It’s like, I can frame up conversations because I kind of, I kind of know you, especially in the workspace a little well and what you think about what we’re doing, that I can tee it up. Like, Kim, I know you, actually like doughnuts. So we’re thinking about bringing doughnuts in and Amy, you maybe had some reservations when we discussed it and I feel like you’re, you made up some good points, but Jason, while he doesn’t care if we have doughnuts or not, I know when it comes to conversation, he’s good at tying it all together. I just spoke life into all of you. I just teed up a conversation. I made it comfortable. I can tell that, you know, I know you by saying certain words or repeating doughnuts. 

[00:28:25] Amy Sandler: You know me so well, Ally. 

[00:28:26] Ally Love: There you go. Yeah, there you go. And so that’s how I like, think about, you know, even in Peloton meetings with, with my fellow instructors is tying in, you know, you said in your, I took your class, people love when you quote them.

[00:28:40] I don’t care if you’re an instructor or not. When I can quote, when I can quote your book or when people come up to me and say, I bossed up today. I’m like, I want to know you like you, like I feel good. I don’t care how successful or famous or unknown you are. When people come up to you and can quote you that you’ve said this, it makes you feel like, huh, all this hard work isn’t in vain and it’s inviting. And that actually is it, it opens the door to allow people to invest in what you’re saying and eventually invest in you. And so that’s what I, I tend to do is I take some of those words, repeat their words back to them, tell them how their words connect to what we’re trying to achieve. And then, like, let them go on and talk.

[00:29:21] Kim Scott: Can we talk about the word boss for a second? Because it was like so hard. It was, I love the way that you used the word boss. And it was really hard to write a book about being a boss, when all the words for being a manager doesn’t sound great, leader has a different problem. Some people love boss, other people hate the word. So talk to me about what do you think when you hear the word boss? 

[00:29:43] Ally Love: Yeah. So again, on my journey of trying to grow up and, and have a really good career that I can enjoy, when I started at Peloton, I was having these conversations of nobody’s taking my classes. I don’t know what I’m doing. I need help. And I sat down with a woman who used to work at our company and it was early in the morning.

[00:30:00] She said, I can meet you at seven AM. And I was like, great. I’ve been up for five hours. Let’s go. You know, I’m like, it’s all good. And so we sat down at the table and she said, you know, I said, I just don’t feel confident being an instructor. I just don’t think that they trust me and I wouldn’t trust me. Like, I just don’t, you know, so she’s like, well, what do you want to feel like?

[00:30:18] And I was like, well, I just want to feel like I know the bike. Like I want to feel like I can, I know the bike inside and out. And, and she was like, well, you know, say more. And I said, well, I want to feel like when I clip in, I’m the boss. Right? I’m the boss of the bike. I’m the boss of the class. You know, trust me. I got you. And so I started to get curious on why did I want to be a boss? Like, what? What was that about? And I was like, well, I don’t want to manage people. I don’t want to be, bosses are scary. Nobody likes bosses, at least not for a long time. They’re, they’re like manage their other, their management, right? They’re always trying to get me. They’re not protecting me. And I don’t want to be that. So then I, I started to, again, In one of my first Love Squad events, I started to talk through this is I was like, oh, wait, I have an ability to redefine and restructure words. Like I get to do that. Everybody gets to do that.

[00:31:06] Like, if you think about popular words today, you’re like, when people say that slaps, I’ve never heard of that. I don’t know what it means, but somebody coined it and now it’s cool. And now I say it. Right? So I’m like, oh, I can do that. And so I started to figure out, started to think a little bit more of what does it mean to be a boss?

[00:31:22] Being a boss is someone who sets the standard. That’s what I want to do, right? Why follow rules when we can solve real problems with real people? Include those real people. And so I was like, I want to set the standard. I want, instead of an instructor, you know, being what being an instructor that I am, I want to be an instructor that everyone wants to be like.

[00:31:39] And to me, that was important. That’s what a boss does. They set standard and then they establish the tone. When I clip on, when I get on stage and I clip in, I actually influence how everyone feels. 

[00:31:50] And I recognize that any room, not just at Peloton, but any room or zoom or, you know, any place that you enter, you have the power to influence the people around you and how they feel. If I came on this call and I was like, yep, everything’s good. Okay. It’ll make you feel like, it’ll make you feel a way. It’ll cause you either frustration. It’ll cause you confusion. It’ll cause you discomfort in a way. Right. If I come on and my energy is high and I’m smiling, you could be having the worst day.

[00:32:18] It can, it, maybe it doesn’t move your needle, you know, thirty percent, but ten percent it can make you ten percent happier in the moment. That is a big deal. And so being a boss, like I said, it’s setting the standard, but establishing tone, knowing that when you walk in any room, you can affect people and hopefully it’s a choice to affect them positively. That’s how powerful you are. 

[00:32:38] Kim Scott: I love that. 

[00:32:39] Amy Sandler: And Ally, what was the word that the other word was? Was it slap? 

[00:32:46] Ally Love: That’s slappin’. That’s slaps. You know, you haven’t heard that Amy. 

[00:32:50] Amy Sandler: And what does it mean? No, what does it mean?

[00:32:54] Kim Scott: I assume it’s good. 

[00:32:55] Ally Love: Yes. I think all words just mean good. Like the definition of like any word is good. That’s the definition. If you look in like the slang dictionary, every word is good, good, good.

[00:33:07] Amy Sandler: So just so that I don’t misquote it, can you use it in a sentence? So bossing up slaps. 

[00:33:13] Ally Love: Being a boss slaps. 

[00:33:15] Amy Sandler: Being a boss slaps. 

[00:33:16] Ally Love: Slaps. Yes. You’re like, Oh, that sandwich, that slaps like that. Oh, that song. When you’re like, oh my gosh, that new, you know, whatever song that’s trendy right now that slaps. It means like, like when people say like it hits hard or like. 

[00:33:29] Kim Scott: Yeah. 

[00:33:30] Amy Sandler: Okay.

[00:33:30] Ally Love: You know, it’s, it’s cool. It’s great. It’s good. It’s awesome. 

[00:33:34] Kim Scott: So good. I love it. 

[00:33:36] Amy Sandler: That slap slap slaps. Can I say that? 

[00:33:39] Ally Love: Like I said, you can redefine any word. Like language, we used to think like language is, it had to be a certain way. And, um, my friend, he says this all the time. It’s like actually language isn’t necessarily getting every period and punctuation, your grammar being great, is if the person you’re communicating with understands what you’re saying. You’re doing it right. 

[00:33:57] Kim Scott: That’s language. 

[00:33:58] Ally Love: You’re doing it right. 

[00:33:59] Kim Scott: I love it. 

[00:33:59] Amy Sandler: Yeah. And we, we do that a lot on the podcast where we talk about different words, the meaning, and even in our workshops, like what does feedback mean to you? What does guidance mean to you? And, and realizing that, and even Radical Candor, what does care personally and challenge directly look like for you? So I’m curious, Ally, when you think about these ideas of Radical Candor, of caring personally, and challenge directly? And it sounds like your husband has been a wonderful thought partner of like those kinds of reflections.

[00:34:29] And I’m curious, you know, one of the things we like to do is hear stories when somebody cared and challenged us. And is there anyone, a moment in your life where you feel like you really received radical candor from someone. 

[00:34:43] Kim Scott: Maybe someone said something that stung a little bit in the moment, but was useful for the next ten years.

[00:34:49] Ally Love: Well, since we’re talking about my husband, Andrew, which he doesn’t love when I, you know, he’s like, he’s like in the back. Yeah. He’s such a private person. He’s lovely. I would say that is actually a part of our relationship in the best way. And the reason for that, and this is, you know, his words, not mine, is that that’s the only way to build trust is that like, you will know when I say something, whether it’s a compliment, whether it’s feedback, that it’s coming from a place that you can trust because I haven’t lied to you.

[00:35:19] Right? Like, so for example, from the simplest thing, it was a vacation. Maybe now two years ago, we went on vacation to Mexico, and I was getting dressed. We were having a dinner on the beach and I was like, oh my gosh, we’re so fancy. We’re getting dressed for the dinner on the beach. And I’m like, well, I’m, we just flew in. I’m going to be cozy. Like it’s just us, not a big deal. So I get dressed in this dress that I brought. It’s, orange is my favorite color. So it’s an orange dress. It’s very frumpy, like oversized. The back is out. It’s like an A line skirt all the way to the floor. Very like a terrycloth material. So it’s kind of heavy.

[00:35:53] I’m like, great. This is comfortable. I feel good. We’re just going to sit on the beach and it’s just us. So I come out and I’m like, all right, I’m ready to go. How do I look? And he was like, and he’s never, again, it’s different to your point, like being direct and being mean are two different things. 

[00:36:07] Kim Scott: Yes. 

[00:36:07] Ally Love: So he never says anything that will hurt my feelings. He goes to me, I don’t think that dress looks like how you think it looks. I said, what do you mean? He’s like, I don’t think it looks like how you think it looks. I think you think that dress is, looks good. And I was like, I do. He’s like, so I don’t think it looks like the way you think it looks, you know, and I don’t know, knowing your style, if that’s what you’re going for.

[00:36:31] And so I was like, okay, you know, I thought we were being cozy. And so I changed into a little black dress. That was the night that we got engaged. 

[00:36:38] Kim Scott: Wow. 

[00:36:39] Ally Love: Yes. But if we had not, like, let’s say we had developed a culture within our relationship where I felt like he was just being mean, or he was just like trying to take a jab at me, or I didn’t trust the words that were coming out of his mouth. I don’t, and there are times where you’re just like, I don’t care. I like this, a hundred percent, but. He knows that I like to look good. Like that is a part of like, really a part of how I grew up. My grandma would say, when you step outside, you, you look presentable. That’s how we grew up. Right. And so he knows that it’s important to me.

[00:37:09] So when he said that and I, you know, lo and behold, there are photos being taken of us secretly that I don’t know because I’m getting engaged. And I looked at him once we were, you know, we did the whole thing and there’s fireworks and it’s on the beach and he asked me to marry him. I was crying and it was beautiful, and it was perfect.

[00:37:23] We’re walking back to the room, and I was like, thank you for not letting me wear that orange dress. I would have been really upset. And he was like, I know you so well, you would have been so upset. I would have had to redo all this. And so I think that to your, to your question, um, I’ve received a lot of radical candor within my relationship and it actually has done me a great service because I trust what my husband says is in my benefit.

[00:37:46] It’s for my growth. It’s never to break me down. Or bring me down or make me feel bad about myself ever. It’s always things that he knows that I want or want to do. And it’s aligned with building me up. And so for me, that is like, that’s, like I said, it’s, it’s second nature. Um, I will say too, funny enough, uh, I’m always assuming that it’s, delivered from a place of being like radical in their candor is our members will let us know. Our members will let us know what they don’t like They will let us know what they do like, but I assume it’s always coming from a good place that they’ll let, you know, they’ll let me know gently that they didn’t like my class, or that they didn’t like the fact that I talked over a song or that I didn’t play a certain song.

[00:38:35] And again, always, or that I got a fun fact wrong, which I’ll get those. ‘Cause I don’t always get the facts right. And I’ll say, I think, but don’t quote me. And they’ll say, well, here it is. They’ll always correct me. And it’ll be from a ride that I taught four years ago. And I’m like, four years later, sir, can you imagine how many people have DM’d me?

[00:38:54] You don’t think I know that that was wrong or I can’t change it. I did it. It’s out there in the ether. It’s done. You are like the million person that told me that when I did the Whitney Houston ride, that Dolly Parton wrote that song. Okay, I got, I said, I think it was someone else. I don’t even remember who I thought wrote. I will always love you. But it was Dolly Parton, okay? 

[00:39:16] Kim Scott: Now you know. 

[00:39:18] Amy Sandler: We have set the record straight. And, and to be clear, you know, we are filled with not only radically candid criticism, but so much radically candid praise, Ally, for all of the, joy, inspiration, and teaching, and love that you bring into, into the world.

[00:39:34] Kim Scott: You just told our new, my new favorite Radical Candor story. I love that. Yeah. Such a good story. 

[00:39:41] Amy Sandler: And this is someone who loves orange, and we love orange, but I think the reason why it’s so beautiful is because he knew you so well to know what would be meaningful and important to you. And that was, that was really caring. 

[00:39:53] Ally Love: He’s okay. Let’s not, um, let’s not big him up too much.

[00:40:04] Amy Sandler: So what, Ally, I want to make sure Kim has brought up a few times in our conversation around behavior change and practice and so much of what we try to encourage with folks practicing Radical Candor, sometimes the, the courage to have those conversations, and you are doing so much each day, which takes courage, practice.

[00:40:26] What tips do you have for folks who might struggle with building radical candor as a habit? Since you know a lot about habit building, what tips do you have? 

[00:40:35] Ally Love: Well, I think that habit building is hard for anyone. Let’s, let’s be clear about that. So if you’re feeling in a, if you’re in a space and you feel like, wow, how are these people doing this? And I, I just can’t like, or I’m not trust me that we’ve all been in that space and, or is in that space when it comes to something for us. And so building a habit is hard. One of the ways that I always encourage myself truly, and folks around me is to put it in front of you, right? I am you. And again, I feel like I talk about this all the time. Post-it notes. I have a bunch of Post-it. Literally, I am like a Post-it notes queen. Write it down. Stick it in front of you. Stick it on your desk. Stick it on your baby crib. You know, when you go pick up your baby out of the crib, you see this Post-it note when it’s in your bathroom, in your mirror. If you have a locker, if you’re driving a car and you sometimes you’re in a sunny place and you have the, sun, what is that? Whatever that thing that covers the sun is called when you drive. 

[00:41:28] Kim Scott: The visor.

[00:41:29] Ally Love: Thank you. You have a visor. You put a Post-it note of things that you want to build a habit around. And it’s that constant reminder, right? We talk about social media, and I put myself on an hour timeline. Sometimes I’m good at the hour and sometimes I’m bad.

[00:41:46] But the point of that is because what I recognize is that I’m feeding myself everything. It’s called a feed, your Instagram feed. It’s right in the words. You’re feeding yourself all these things. How can you watch a scary movie and be shocked that you had scary dreams? No, you were going to, you just fed your sub, subconscious a scary movie. If you love that kind of thing, oh my God, keep going. But don’t be shocked when the next day you’re like, I was so terrified. I don’t know. I was so uncomfortable sleeping. That’s what you fed yourself. Whatever you feed yourself, that’s exactly what’s going to ruminate in your mind. And what most likely you will regurgitate, it’ll show up in your word choice.

[00:42:23] Um, it will be your habit. And so for me, the easiest way to build a habit, even when it’s hard is to put it right in front of your face. If you want to run indoors, I’m not saying buy a Peloton Tread, but buy a Peloton Tread. My Tread is here in my extra bedroom because, and I leave the door open because anytime I walk by, I’m like, oh, it’s looking at me. You know, it’s a reminder to get on or a reminder that I love it. And so I do, I do that often. I put things in front of me to remind me. I have water bottles around my house. I talk about this often. There’s a water bottle in every room. Because it’s a, there you go. It’s a tangible reminder to hydrate.

[00:43:00] Being dehydrated actually makes you cranky and me cranky is not good to anyone in the world. So again, to be my best self, to build that habit, I put it in front of me. And that’s exactly what I do for working out. I say, put on Peloton app and just put it on. You don’t have to put, you don’t have to get dressed. Just put it on while you’re washing dishes. Because it becomes less scary. You become familiar with it. And so for me, those are things it’s like, it’s whatever you’re feeding yourselves, usually that’s the first step, allowing yourself to get familiar with it, and then for you to engage and eventually build that habit. And so I do that all the time. 

[00:43:38] Kim Scott: I love that. So helpful. And I also love your five minutes. You just have to do it for five minutes because once you’re five minutes in, it’s much easier to keep going. 

[00:43:46] Ally Love: Oh my gosh. Yes. And if you, I mean, life’s too short. If you don’t enjoy the workout, definitely get out of it. Like no one’s holding you to it. But once you get in and you start, you get through the warmup or you get halfway through the warm up, you’re like, this isn’t this bad. Or most times you’re like, I really like the song and you let the music carry you or the words of the instructor carry you. So five minutes go a long way for sure.

[00:44:06] Amy Sandler: Yeah. And I love the idea of, you really do create kind of multi-sensory experiences. So you’ve got the music, you’ve got the movement, even with Love Squad, which I want to spend a few moments on talking about words. And so I love how you’re, it’s just like a multi-disciplinary, multi-sensory experience that you’re creating, that we don’t have to just rely on sort of sheer willpower. There are other resources that we can access and other people, community. So tell me about the origin of Love Squad and, and where it is now. 

[00:44:37] Ally Love: Yes. I love this question. I have three things to say. So Love Squad’s origin story started, I always say out of frustration and lack of resources. I moved to New York in college. I didn’t know, I knew I wanted to be a dancer. I knew that dancing didn’t make money. So I had to figure out how to make money. And I also couldn’t go to these events where, you know, folks would be getting, young folks would be getting together and getting, making friends and learning about career building skills.

[00:44:59] And out of that, you know, those, that frustration and lack of entry, I decided to create a space myself. I created a website, and I talked about things that I knew, like how to get out of bed without pressing snooze in college. Right. You know how to accept no, as a dancer, I was gigging, meaning I was going to audition and I would get, the no, you know, at some moments and it would hurt my feelings. Like, how do you deal with those no’s? And eventually Adidas found the website and they reached out and said, you’re writing about women empowerment. I didn’t even know that I was writing, writing about women empowerment. I thought whoever’s like me, I want to talk to them. Um, or whoever’s dealing with things that I’ve dealt with or that I’m dealing with, I want to talk to them.

[00:45:37] And so they were like, can you create some, some women empowerment content for us? And so I did, which was cool. And I decided maybe this is a thing. I created a, an event. I was like, well, instead of us just connecting on social media and through the website, what if we all met up? And at this time I had probably about three thousand followers on Instagram, which is a lot of people, but not all of them in New York.

[00:45:57] And so I, I went out and I found a space for free and I got, you know, gift bags for free and I was just hustling to make, I became an event planner without any experience in a new city, in a hard city. And so I invited everyone out. I said, you know, I’m going to put this event. It’ll be free so that you don’t need resources to come here. It’s, you have that entry. It’s free. Tell a friend, bring someone. We have fifty spots because it was a small space. I opened it up and within like fifteen seconds we had seventy-five people like sign, like it was like fifty people signed up with a seventy-five person wait list. And I was like, okay, great. This is good. 

[00:46:32] Kim Scott: Yeah. 

[00:46:32] Ally Love: I had the, I was like, I had the event and I, you know, I had the space till eight thirty and I tell this story often. It was eight thirty on the dot and I was like, you all have to get out ’cause I don’t have any money because they’re gonna charge me and I don’t have any money. And I was like, I love that you’re networking and all these things. And the event consisted of me sitting down with a girlfriend who had built her brand. And she, I just moderated the conversation and she shared how she did it. And I was like, now talk amongst yourself, network, get to meet someone. Then I was like, okay, now that you’re networking, you’re networking way too long. I need you to leave, like, call each other on the phone. And I end up, I end up inviting everyone who signed up and the wait list because I felt bad turning them away.

[00:47:11] So it was a fire code, and I didn’t want anyone to come. Like, you know, I don’t want them to come. So after that event, I said, you know what? This was great. Let’s do this again. And so Love Squad was birthed out of the curiosity for conversation. Conversation is the catalyst for change, right? We know that no big decision is created in our lives without a conversation internally and then externally with a loved one, with a friend, with a mentor. Sometimes with a stranger. 

[00:47:33] And I was like, wow, there’s, this is something, it’s something profound and I want to do it. It doesn’t have to be big. It can continue to be small. So I kept doing, I’ve continued to do events around New York City. We’ve done some in Chicago, like in London, very small events, and it has been very beneficial. We have all ages. So it’s not just like, oh, folks in college, it’s folks in college looking to get into the career space. It’s folks that are, you know, parents that just actually are making maybe the, toying with the idea of getting back into the work space, for them to meet each other to share their experiences.

[00:48:05] And it’s been very, very successful. Um, the second thing that I want to say, which is, um, what you kind of touched on, and I was kind of talking to my mom yesterday about this, the sensory thing is the effectiveness of words. Sometimes, someone will say something in a way that will hit you. It’ll hit you and you’ll cry. It’ll hit you and you’ll feel triggered. And I recognize that we have that power. And sometimes that nuance, that personal nuance isn’t explored. And so I was telling my mom, I was like, mom, when you say these words, actually, like they trigger me. We were having a great conversation, but I was like, when you say that, cause we role play a lot. So she needs to have a conversation with someone else. So we were having it. She was having it with me as, as, as if I was a stranger. And I was like, but when you say that to me, it triggers me, and I would react this way. I’m not sure they will, but like, just so you know, maybe there’s a different word choice or a different tone.

[00:49:01] And I think that we forget that, uh, our words can be very impactful in a good way and sometimes in a not so good way. And I oftentimes bring this up when I talk in the third point around in Love Squad is that the best marketer, like when we talk about brand and reputation and what you, when I leave this call, how you feel about me, the best person, like the best brand that has ever set foot on the earth is your grandma.

[00:49:26] Your grandma has done it well. She hits all of your senses. She usually smells good. She has that smell. You’re like, grandma, you smell so good. Like she makes food like taste, like it thinks you you’re in a comfortable space. So everything looks good. Like all of your, your senses are vibing right now in the best space. Right. And if, and not all people have great grandmas, but most grandmas are just great. That’s just life. So like my, when I think of my grandma, I’m like, wow, she hits all of the senses. And that is what a great brand does. Right. They tickle all of your senses in some ways. And I think that we, we have to keep in mind that that’s exactly what we want to continue to do and that we talk about in Love Squad for sure.

[00:50:06] Kim Scott: Brilliant. I love that. What a happy way to wrap up. Ally, we love talking to you. 

[00:50:12] Ally Love: Thank you so much. 

[00:50:12] Kim Scott: You are the embodiment of Radical Candor. Thank you so much. 

[00:50:19] Ally Love: No, thank you for having me. I truly appreciate it. This is so cool. 

[00:50:21] Amy Sandler: I guess now I want to ask one more question. If you could be beyond your wildest dreams coming back to us, in three years, what would we be talking about?

[00:50:31] Ally Love: Wow. Um, I don’t know. I hope some of the same things. I think for me being at Peloton, being on the Today Show, being with my husband, being with my friends, I do think history is a sign of success. Not always, but being someplace at, for a long time and being happy during that time while you’re there shows, is a metric for success that I always strive to have.

[00:50:56] So I do hope. In three years that I’m actually saying that I’m doing a lot of the same stuff now. And if somehow I became a diplomat that, if you really want to, if we really are reaching high. 

[00:51:09] Amy Sandler: Yeah. 

[00:51:09] Ally Love: Um, I became a diplomat of a country. 

[00:51:13] Jason Rosoff: Okay. I love that. 

[00:51:14] Amy Sandler: You heard it here first. 

[00:51:14] Ally Love: And I’m a part of international conversations and how to make the world better.

[00:51:19] Kim Scott: I think you would make the world a better place for sure. 

[00:51:22] Ally Love: Thank you. 

[00:51:22] Amy Sandler: This has been so fun. And one thing as we close, we’ve been doing “favorite thing” a lot lately, Ally. And I know there’s probably not one favorite song on your playlist. Um, but if you’re looking to feel good, on, uh, the day that we’re recording this, is there a song, if you were wanting to boost your mood a little bit, what, what song would you put on that would make you want to get out of your chair?

[00:51:47] Ally Love: Right now? 

[00:51:49] Amy Sandler: Right now. Sure. Why not? 

[00:51:51] Jason Rosoff: Right now. 

[00:51:51] Ally Love: Def Leppard, Pour Some Sugar On Me. 

[00:51:55] Pour some sugar on me, in the name of love. Like that song, right now, I’m just like, yeah, like I feel so, it like, it makes me feel good. 

[00:52:05] Amy Sandler: It does. 

[00:52:05] Kim Scott: I love it. 

[00:52:06] Amy Sandler: I love it. Well, we can, hopefully we can add that as we roll out. Thank you again for taking time. Congratulations on your guest hosting today. 

[00:52:16] Ally Love: Thank you. 

[00:52:16] Amy Sandler: We had such a good time with you. 

[00:52:18] Kim Scott: Take care everybody. 

[00:52:18] Ally Love: All right. Bye. 

[00:52:20] Kim Scott: Be well. 

[00:52:21] Ally Love: So sweet. 

[00:52:21] Amy Sandler: Take care. 

[00:52:22] The Radical Candor podcast is based on the book Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott.

[00:52:30] Episodes are written and produced by Brandi Neal with script editing by me, Amy Sandler. The show features Radical Candor co-founders Kim Scott and Jason Rosoff and is hosted by me, still Amy Sandler. Nick Carissimi is our audio engineer. The Radical Candor podcast theme music was composed by Cliff Goldmacher.

[00:52:51] Follow us on LinkedIn, Radical Candor, the company and visit us at


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Radical Candor podcastThe Radical Candor Podcast is based on the book Radical Candor: Be A Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott.

Episodes are written and produced by Brandi Neal with script editing by Amy Sandler. The show features Radical Candor co-founders Kim Scott and Jason Rosoff and is hosted by Amy Sandler. Nick Carissimi is our audio engineer.

The Radical Candor Podcast theme music was composed by Cliff Goldmacher. Order his book: The Reason For The Rhymes: Mastering the Seven Essential Skills of Innovation by Learning to Write Songs.


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