Feedback helps you grow, right? So why is it so hard to take? Kim and Russ share their tips and techniques for what to do after you get feedback.
Listen to the episode:
In This Week’s Episode
Taking feedback well is tricky — it’s completely natural to have a defensive reaction when someone tells you how you can improve. In today’s episode, Kim and Russ offer advice for getting past that defensive reaction to encourage more feedback and get more out of it.
Russ starts with a behind-the-scenes of the podcast story. He was telling a story during a previous recording that ended up playing to common gender stereotypes. Kim gave him feedback during the recording, but Russ had a defensive, threat response reaction. He realized this and wished he had reacted differently.
Russ mentions how good Kim is at taking feedback well, how quickly she can get over a defensive reaction and get to the good stuff. Kim chalks it up to Granny Alice and tells a story about advice Granny Alice gave her as a child. Kim decided early on to learn from feedback and use it to become a better human being.
This episode also talks about what to do if you disagree with feedback you’ve been given. “Reward the Candor” means showing you appreciate that the person told you what they think, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Kim and Russ give advice for how to show you Care Personally and Challenge Directly in this circumstance. Take some time to reflect and find a piece of the feedback you agree with.
What is it that I’m doing that’s causing him to think this? Where is this coming from?
Recognize the part that you agree with, and explain why you disagree with the rest.
The Candor Checklist
The episode ends, as always with tangible tips you can use right away. Here are some ways to start taking feedback like a boss:
Tip 1: Remind yourself that feedback is a gift.
Tip 2: Ask for feedback 1-2 times per week.
Tip 3: Don’t get mad, get curious.
Tip 4: Schedule a time when you’re going to follow up.
Get the details on these tips by listening to the episode.
Related Resources
We’ve got a bunch of great articles and another podcast episode that talk about getting feedback. Check these out!
- 6 Tips for Taking Feedback Well
- What to Do When You Disagree with Feedback
- Episode 7: How to Get Feedback from Your Boss
- How to Get Feedback from Others
- Soliciting Feedback from Your Boss
In the episode, we also introduced a survey — we’d love to learn more about you, our listeners! If you have a couple of minutes to help us out, please take the survey here.
Woahh. I l just listened to this one after taking a break from this podcast for a few weeks. I’m so surprised that you chose to bring back up the problematic example of the two bosses, but not in the context of a deeper dive into why it was problematic. I’m not the “gender police” by any means, I’m not even a person who is particularly sensitive to feminist issues, but I was bothered by the example in the original episode. There was no reason that the two new managers needed to be different genders at all. Your choice of example was sending a clear message that men can be too aggressive as new managers, and woman can be too mothering. As an instructor, it’s not responsible to craft an example that reinforces a stupid stereotype like that. I would not appreciate being called a den mother, personally.
Hi Hannah! We hear you loud and clear and commit, as we go forward, to make every effort not to stumble into gender stereotypes. Thanks so much for listening, and thanks for holding us accountable.